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A Typical English Saturday!
Para 1.
I went to my mate’s house to watch the England game the other day. I walked in and said “alright” he gave me a beer and I said “ta.” England lost 4-1 to Germany. My friend and I were very gutted. We decided to go for some nosh. The closest pub was selling burgers for a fiver. When we got to the pub there were some other pals there “Alright?” I asked and they said “Good ta.”
Para 2.
The pub was in a slightly bloody dangerous part of the city but the burgers were the bee’s knees. My bruv John is jammy, he always wins money on the gambling machine but tonight he put a tenner in the machine and didn’t win. I put £1 in and won £10, “you jammy bastard” said John.
Para 3.
Then a dog’s bollocks woman walked in, I decided to buy her a drink.
She was the dog’s bollocks but two sandwiches short of a picnic. I spent a tenner on drinks for her but then
she got knackered and decided to go home, I didn’t get her phone number and I was gutted. Then my mate Pete arrived, he is two sandwiches short of a picnic and he was pissed. We all said “hello Pete, alright?”
John and my other mates started taking the piss out of Pete.Para 4.
Pete didn’t understand because he’s two sandwiches short of a picnic so he said ta! I was broke so I asked Pete if I could borrow a tenner, but he only had a fiver. I had one more drink and started to feel knackered. We went to the kebab shop next door, there were some dodgy men in there, they started taking the piss out of us and we almost had a fight. We paid for the kebabs and ate them on the way home, they were the bee’s knees.
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1 Reply
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Good stuff here Carlos
Just watch out here:
Para 1 > … were very gutted
> Adjectives like knackered and gutted are what we call ‘Absolute Adjectives’. This means that these words are generally not capable of being intensified or compared. Therefore we don’t use ‘very’ with these kinds of adjective.
You might find this interesting: https://www.bbc.co.uk/learningenglish/course/eiam/unit-1/session-47
Para 3 > we don’t use ‘dog’d bollocks’ to describe how someone looks. You could say instead:
Then a stunner walked in, I decided to buy her a drink.
She was well fit but two sandwiches short of a picnic.👍
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