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Slang-version of TES
A Typical English Saturday
Para 1.
I went to my mate’s house to watch the England game the other day. I walked in and said “How is it going?” he gave me a beer and I said “ta.” England lost 4-1 to Germany. My friend and I were gutted. We decided to go for some nosh. The closest pub was selling burgers for a Tenner. When we got to the pub there were some other friends there “How are you?” I asked and they said “Bloody good.”
Para 2.
The pub was in a slightly dangerous part of the city but the burgers were the bee’s knees. My friend John is jammy, he always wins money on the gambling machine but tonight he put £10 in the machine and didn’t win. I put £1 in and won £10, “you jammy bastard” said John.
Para 3.
Then a really attractive woman walked in, I decided to buy her a drink.
She was really attractive but stupid. I spent £10 on drinks for her but then she got knackered and decided to go home, I didn’t get her phone number and I was really gutted. Then my friend Pete arrived, he is stupid and he was pissed. We all said “hello Pete, how are you?”
John and my other friends started taking the piss out of Pete.Para 4.
Pete had no clue because he’s two sandwiches short of a picnic, so he said ta ! I was broke so I asked Pete if I could borrow ten pounds, but he only had a fiver. I had one more drink and started to feel knackered. We went to the kebab shop next door, there were some dangerous men in there, they started making funny insults about us and we almost had a fight. We paid for the kebabs and ate them on the way home, they were the dog’s bollocks.
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