I went to my mate’s house to watch the England game the other day. I walked in and said “Alright?” he gave me a beer and I said “ta.” England lost 4-1 to Germany. My pal and I were very gutted. We decided to go for some nosh. The closest pub was selling burgers for a fiver. When we got to the pub there were some other mates there “Alright?” I asked and they said “Good ta.”
The pub was in a slightly dodgy part of the city but the burgers were the bee’s knees. My mate John is very jammy, he always wins money on the gambling machine but tonight he put a tenner in the machine and didn’t win. I put £1 in and won a tenner, “you jammy bastard” said John.
Then a really fit woman walked in, I decided to buy her a drink. She was really fit but two sandwiches short of a picnic. I spent a tenner on drinks for her but then she got very knackered and decided to go home, I didn’t get her phone number and I was very gutted. Then my mate Pete arrived, he is two sandwiches short of a picnic and he was very pissed. We all said “hello Pete, alright?” John and my other pals started taking the piss out of Pete.
Pete didn’t understand because he’s two sandwiches
short of a picnic so he said ta! I didn’t have any more money so I asked Pete
if I could borrow a tenner, but he only had a fiver. I had one more drink and
started to feel knackered. We went to the kebab shop next door, there were some
dodgy men in there, they started taking the piss out of us and we almost had a
fight. We paid for the kebabs and ate them on the way home, they were the dog’s
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