The pub was in a slightly dangerous part of the city but the burgers were fit. My friend John is jammy, he always wins money on the gambling machine but tonight he put a tenner in the machine and didn’t win. I put £1 in and won a tenner, “you jammy” said John.
Then a really attractive woman walked in, I decided to buy her a drink. She was really attractive but like two sandwiches short of a picnic. I spent a tenner on drinks for her but then she got knackered and decided to go home, I didn’t get her phone number and I was gutted. Then my friend Pete arrived, he is stupid and he was very pissed. We all said “hello Pete, alright?” John and my other friends started taking piss of Pete.
Pete didn’t understand because he’s stupid so he said ta! I didn’t have any more money so I asked Pete if I could borrow a tenner, but he only had a fiver. I had one more drink and started to be knachered. We went to the kebab shop next door, there were some dangerous men in there, they started taking piss of about us and we almost had a fight. We paid for the kebabs and ate them on the way home, they were the best.
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