I went to my mate’s house to watch the England game the other day. I walked in and said “Alright” he gave me a beer and I said “Ta.” England lost 4-1 to Germany. My bruv and I were very gutted. We decided to go for some nosh. The closest pub was selling burgers for £5. When we got to the pub there were some
other mates there “Alright” I asked and they said “Yep, Ta.”
The pub was in a slightly dodgy part of the city but the burgers were the bee’s knees. My friend John is jammy, he always wins money on the gambling machine but tonight he put £10 in the machine and didn’t win. I put £1 in and won £10, “you bloody jammy” said John.
Then a really fit woman walked in, I decided to buy her a drink. She was really attractive but two sandwiches short of a picnic. I spent £10 on drinks for her but then she got knackered and decided to go home, I didn’t get her phone number and I was gutted. Then my mate Pete arrived, he is stupid and he was very drunk. We all said “hello Pete, alright” John and my other friends started taking the piss about Pete.
Pete didn’t understand because he’s stupid so he said Ta! I didn’t have any more money so I asked Pete if I could borrow a tenner, but he only had a fiver. I had one more drink and started to feel knackered. We went to the kebab shop next door, there were some dodgy men in there, they started taking the piss about us and we almost had a fight. We paid for the kebabs and ate them on the way home, they were the dog’s bollocks.
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